What does it mean to be hard to handle?

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Does it mean you’re ambitious and have a hard time catering to other’s plans and needs? Does it mean you need a certain amount of attention and get moody when you don’t get it? Or are you a complex personality that needs one thing on day one but the opposite on day two?

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Perhaps being hard to handle means you are a little bit of all of these things. Maybe you have a deep soul that can feel a bit more than the average girl, or maybe it takes you longer to get over being hurt than it should. Girls that are hard to handle aren’t rude or intentionally difficult. People tend to think they are, but it’s not about trying to be a certain way, we just are that way. And if we could help it, we still wouldn’t change a thing.

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So to the men who date us, I want you to know, if we are hard to deal with at times, we aren’t doing it to torture you. Honestly. But here are a few things that may help you understand the way our minds work so you can better prepare yourself before entering a relationship with one of us.

We try to be balanced.

It may seem like we immerse ourselves in too many things, but really, we just try to commit ourselves to what we are passionate about. Work, hobbies, relationships and family. Sometimes it may seem like our attention is spread too thin, but we are just trying to cover all of our bases. We don’t want to miss out on anything, and sometimes when you ask us to it hurts our feelings. You can always ask for more attention, but try to veer away from telling us not to be involved in so many things.

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We like to be independent.

We take our autonomy very seriously. We like to be our own person and not feel as if we need to depend on a man financially, emotionally or mentally. It’s important to us to be in control of our own emotions, reactions and plans. Sometimes, that means it’s hard for us to sacrifice, not because we can’t compromise, but because it makes us nervous to become dependent. We can love you, support you and share with you, but that doesn’t mean we have to lose ourselves in the process.

If you love us for all that we are, we will love you just the same.

The thing about women with layers, or in other words, complex personalities, is that we know we are complex. We are aware of our many layers, but we embrace them. We enjoy being passionate, deep thinking and immersing ourselves in all that we can. We see the beauty in our depth and we want others to see it too. We need to feel as if you love all that we are, and not trying to get us to be any less just because it can be a little chaotic at times. We, in turn, will love and appreciate all of your layers and little quirks.

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We only commit to the things we really want.

Occupations, projects, hobbies and you. The thing about women who are hard to handle is that we can handle ourselves just fine, and we don’t need anyone else stepping in. We know what we want and won’t settle for anything that is just “good enough.” When we want you, we want you. We could never be with someone we weren’t 100 percent committed to. Just like we couldn’t settle for a crappy desk job when our dream is to be making a name for ourselves in the world. It might not always be easy for us, but that doesn’t stop us from committing. We don’t cheat ourselves because of laziness or temptation and we certainly won’t cheat when it comes to you.