We tend to categorize people we meet as extroverted or introverted.
Loud or quiet, outgoing or shy. One thing I have learned about myself is that I really don’t fit into one category or another. I seem to have a little bit of everything in me.
I find this funny when people ask me to describe myself. When I respond I almost feel as if I am describing several people all wrapped up in one. For example; I grew up riding horses, showing and devoted most of my life to rodeo. Country girl? Probably what people assume when I tell them this. However, I also competed in pageants on a state and national level for seven years. Am I a perfectionist that likes to be the center of attention? I bet people think that when I talk about my pageant days.
I also love traveling, hiking, biking and kayaking. People seem to think that makes me an outdoorsy, sporty and simple person. I write for a living, love music, books and strange decor. Others believe that makes me rather artsy.
Do you catch my drift here? I am many things, with many interests and passions, so how could I possibly mold myself into one category or the other? The same is true for my personality. Yes, I believe I am outgoing. I love adventure and trying new things, but I also am cautious and enjoy being alone. Does that make me an introvert or an extrovert? Or am I both? Can you be both? Yes, of course, you can.
When you make plans to go out Saturday night on Tuesday, but Saturday morning you’re just not feeling it.
Welcome to my life. It’s not that you make plans with no intention of showing up, it’s in that moment you really mean it. On Tuesday, you want to go out and be social because you’re tired of being at home alone. But on Saturday, you’ve been around people all week and wrapping yourself in a blanket with a cup of tea and a book is all you can think about doing. You wanted to go clubbing all night before, but tonight you just want to stay home and enjoy your quiet apartment.
You can be difficult to read.
When people meet you on a night out on the town, they probably see you as the loud, funny, eccentric center of attention. Jump forward a few weeks and you are off in your own little world. You seem a little distant, or maybe standoffish. It’s not that you have anything against them, but it can be taken rather personally. When you have both extrovert and introvert tendencies people often take it personally as if your feelings about them have changed. It takes time for people to accept you aren’t always the same person they met, but a variety of people. It can be a bit confusing.
You are either one extreme or the other.
When you are feeling extroverted, you are really extroverted. Flirty, bold and commanding. When you are feeling introverted, you are really introverted. Quiet, shy and even a bit withdrawn. There really is no in between.
People mistake your decompression for depression.
Since you are extremely outgoing when you are feeling extroverted people latch onto that about you because it’s what they remember or are used to. When you pass up a night out or going on a trip they typically freak out and assume something is wrong with you. They don’t understand how you can go from one extreme to the next, so when you need time alone to get grounded and decompress you probably get a lot of flack for it. It’s hard for people to see you being so social and down for adventure then find you alone in your apartment for days at a time listening to James Blunt.
It has nothing to do with depression. You are just okay with yourself alone and comfortable in your own skin. Being in stillness is important and it’s healthy to get in touch with yourself. You need to block out the noise sometimes and get grounded. Sometimes people can’t understand that you like yourself enough to do so.