You must love ourselves no matter what shape or size.
So everywhere I look, during every day of my life and since as long as I can remember are images of what I am led to believe are the ideal versions of what the female form should look like.
From a pert behind, a flat middle and a full frontage, not to mention a flawless complexion with a radiant glow! These images are reinforced as perfection by so many other aspects of society that one would have to be blind deaf and dumb to be able to live in ignorant bliss as to not believe that this is what we should be striving to achieve with our own ordinary and not so obedient bodies……and, if indeed we can’t achieve it through an array of (often torturous!) methods then we should look at creating it artificially, like in a utopian beauty production of ourselves.
Guys have different eyes to you
Because of these idealistic images that are thrust upon us, it is not always easy to love your body. As soon as you so much glance at a magazine cover you literally (or I do!) feel fat and ugly – in other words, inferior. Knowing that these images are often the result of hours of photo shopping and airbrushing (and that is after the lifetime of dieting and cosmetic upkeep the dedicated model subjects herself to!) doesn’t help diminish the feelings of insecurity of ones less than magazine like self.
It is a natural urge that most of us girls just can’t fight, to compare ourselves against members’ of the same sex and question ourselves as to where we fare against them in all aspects of life – intelligence, financially, physically. Comparisons of appearance though seem to throw up the biggest obstacles and can end up affecting us in all manner of ways – none of them positive.
You are not too fat OR ugly
People who are carrying around an unhealthy self-image and who demonstrate self-loathing towards their bodies can in turn contaminate every part of their life, from the baggy clothes they wear to their feelings of acceptance and happiness.
Learn to Love Yourself
I think it’s crucial that we girls get to grips with the fact we need to learn to love ourselves regardless of appearance. The butterfly effect of such self-love and appreciation will affect every aspect of your life, from jobs, friendships and especially relationships and eradicate the guilt and negative emotional pattern brought about by such self-doubting.
- We need to remind ourselves that when it comes to men (and let’s face it, they are the real reason behind our insecurities of not being replicas of a cover girl!), a girl who exudes self-confidence and eats without caution is a lot sexier than a girl who shrinks away from herself, hiding behind her baggy clothes for fear of flashing a love handle or two! When we are focussed on the bits and bobs we have spent a lifetime hating, they are in fact just too busy paying attention to the (probably very same!) bits and bobs that make us girls so amazing.
- We need to know that when it comes to getting physical, these bits don’t bother guys either, in fact I’d go so far as to say they induce the very opposite in a guy! (We’ve all heard he likes something to hold on to haven’t we!)
- We must not be bullied. If we are constantly dieting to meet a standard set by a controlling male in their life, we’re likely to miss the signs and have less energy/self-esteem to deal with any unacceptable behaviour they might be putting your way. Remember if the man in your life wants you to be constantly dieting then he needs to hit the curb!
- We must remember that guys like to be around girls who actually like themselves, who can focus on having fun rather than obsessing about diet and beauty. If you love your body and think it’s hot then so will your guy.
- We need to not waste time worrying if our boobs are too big/too small/too oddly shaped – I can pretty much guarantee he will love your boobs regardless! Nearly every man is a boob man!
- We must not be embarrassed by our muffin tops &/love handles! Does he really want a stomach flatter than his and displaying more of a six pack than he could ever muster?! –No! Men have egos, like peacocks and don’t like to come in second place!
- We must remember to parade our pins! Ladies make the most of those legs! Short or long, slender or shapely, chuck on a short skirt and a pair of heels and just watch him drool!
- We need to learn to love ourselves and to be able to look at a gorgeous girl and not feel the green eyed monster surfacing! Feelings of jealousy just lead back to insecurity and negativity.
- And we need to embrace what makes us different! Think you have a big nose, too many freckles or are embarrassed by your ginger locks, then think again. All quirky, non stereotypical face types are interesting. More so than being conventionally pretty, which these days anyone with enough determination can manufacture. Any interesting and defining feature gives you character and as such makes you beautiful!