What you see as flawed, he sees as gorgeous!
OK girls listen up. This may surprise you to know but guys own a different set of eyes to you. Every day when you look at yourself in the mirror, if you look hard enough you may see that tooth that is a little crooked or those stretch marks at the top of your legs. You may see that your breasts are too big or too small. Your knee may look a little too knobbly. You may gave a toe that pokes out to the side or is a little too big compared to the others. The list can become endless depending on how much of a hard time you give yourself.
Guess what a man sees? He sees a woman he would love to kiss, strip naked and get busy with right then and there.
To put it into perspective I will tell you a little about my own body. I have a muffin top. I think my feet are too bony and my hips are too wide. I also have this tooth that is a little bit more yellow than the others and I cant seem to do anything about it. My feet annoyed me so much that I went to the doctors and he informed me that I have bunions (nice I know) and that I needed an operation to get rid of them. After the op I kept my feet hidden from everyone. I have a nasty scar running right down the middle of one of my feet and it is a big gross. Also my feet are still a little wonky.
After bottling all this worry up for years, thinking I was doomed to a life of singledom just looking at my gross foot all the time, you can only imagine my shock when I met a man and fell in love. This guy was willing to marry me? With my gammy foot! What was wrong with him? Not only did he want to marry me, he pretty much begged me to do so.
Looking back now at all the anguish leading up to meeting Mike, I can laugh and be light hearted about it but I have to tell you, at the time it was horrible and a very lonely dark place.
Here is how men REALLY see your body.
When you do meet a guy and spend some time with him, if you were to ask him what parts of you he liked the most, he would probably instinctively think about your ass, boobs or legs. He would not dare say this of course and may reply saying your hair or the line of your shoulders. Something unlikely to cause offence of get him into trouble. The truth is, he probably hasn’t even noticed the scar on your foot or whatever it is about yourself you focus on all the time. Men see your body in 3 ways and these are nothing like the way you see yourself every day.
1. They see the parts of you that are Feminine.
They notice the things about you that make you distinctly a woman. These are all the obvious things like your hair, ass, and breasts. Fortunately or unfortunately this is hard wired into them. No red blooded male can help noticing these features on a woman. The good news is that your stretch marks, crooked tooth, tan lines, cellulite and all the other things that may bother you genuinely don’t make it onto this list.
2. They notice things that make you different to other woman.
You know that little gap in your teeth or the fact your ears are a little too small? Guys actually find this really cute. It makes you different and unique. That muffin top you focus on all the time has never even crossed his mind. It is right next to your ass which he thinks is so perfect, anything like a muffin top or the odd stretch mark does not bother him in the slightest. Do you think your lips are too small or too thin? Well he doesn’t. He just wants to kiss them. More likely he is imagining how good they would feel against his body if he was lucky enough to get that far with you.
I am telling you straight. All the things you hate about yourself and have focused on all these years are not even on his radar. These are the things that make you different and he wants you just the way you are.
3. Warning: If you do go on about it all the time, he will start to agree
Everything I have said above is really very true up until a point. This is all about the early days and in this crucial time you can shape the rest of your relationship.
If you constantly tell him the parts of you that you hate. If you constantly tell him he is wrong when he tells you he likes those unique parts of you, he may start to agree with you. He touches your leg and you push him off telling him you are too fat. He touches your arm and you shrug him off telling him you “hate my bingo wings”. All you are doing is making him know your are insecure about these parts of yourself and also making him focus on these parts and nothing else.
Good news girls… This also works in reverse. Show him a bit of flesh. Embrace his touch, no matter if it is on a part of you you don’t like. He does so let him know he makes you feel good and sexy and he will just want you even more.
Look at Kim Kardashian or J Lo for example. They have made the idea of having a big butt sexy. They exude confidence and show off their curves and guys love it.
He wants a REAL WOMAN
Look. Men will always be attracted to movie stars or models he sees on the covers of glossy magazines. Having said that, these images are nothing in comparison to having a real living breathing woman he loves next to him. You need to remember that and not get jealous if his eye wanders now and then. He is with you and not some figment of his imagination and he knows that. You are up close and personal with him and that is all that matters to him.
Celebrate your body (and let him do it, too)! Take good care of yourself and let him know you make the effort to stay fit and healthy.
You are a catch and never forget that!